What makes you happy?
I have been thinking about this question recently; in fact, I often think about it :)
The most common answers I hear are money, power, recognition etc.
The least heard answers are job satisfaction, quality relationships, and so on.
Money can indeed buy (affect) happiness. If my salary doubled overnight, I’d be lying if I’m not happy. However, I question whether a money-boost would drench me in lasting happiness over several months, let alone years or an entire lifetime. In fact, I may sleep for a couple of hours and then it doesn’t feel anything — experienced this :)
Furthermore, there’s a limit to money-linked happiness. Once we hit a basic psychological ceiling, additional money doesn’t help; in fact, it could do the opposite.
Positive relationships, some say, are a powerful predictor of life satisfaction. For instance, nurturing strong bonds with family, friends, and relatives significantly enhances our happiness, as evidenced by an 80-year-long Harvard study. Well-Noted.
Why, then, is the popular only concept of the money-happiness correlation so strong?
I don’t need to look deeper to understand this — people are inherently impatient and want things quickly. While money can buy many things instantly, building relationships takes time.
Another less attractive happiness predictor is — “work”; may be shocking to many, especially those accustomed to a toxic work culture or who have never truly enjoyed their profession. But if we genuinely love what we do for a living, this passion alone can be a significant source of happiness.
Love for one’s work fosters engagement, which can lead to experiencing ‘flow’ (losing track of time while immersed in an activity), subsequently resulting in happiness.
Hence, Love > Engagement > Flow > Happiness; this sequence holds true whether at work or in personal life. Becoming a master of something can bring happiness too. Learning new skills boosts self-esteem, further enhancing our joy.
Fixed vs. growth mindsets have something to do with our happiness as well. Since having a growth mindset is strongly linked to acquiring new skills, immersing oneself in them, and mastering them, it’s a no-brainer. Stagnant thinkers are the worst.
In addition, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, practising meditation/submission (to the creator or a higher being), and avoiding comparisons can, of course, help. These factors might have a stronger or weaker influence on one’s happiness depending on the individual.
Most interestingly, you’ll come across people who check out all of the above but still — unhappy! Some people can never find happiness regardless of what they achieve in life. Scientists refer to this as the set-point theory, which is closely linked with genetics. The main proposition here is that every individual has a baseline happiness level they return to, regardless of life events. Kids growing up in a happy environment would naturally have a different baseline than those who had it rough. However, life circumstances and intentional activities can temporarily shift this baseline. That’s why some people become more panicked or sad than others when experiencing the same event.
So, in short, the pointers (I think) are:
- Money
- Relationships
- Growth mindset (new skills > flow > mastery)
- Lifestyle
- Genetics (a happy childhood)
